


honest man

by my_middle_name_is_awkward



Series: Our Love is Like a Song [13]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Canon Compliant, Coda, Episode s04e07 The Barbecue, M/M, Post 4x07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 08:02:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18752323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_middle_name_is_awkward/pseuds/my_middle_name_is_awkward
Summary: He felt terrible for playing with Rachel’s heart, but he knew that that man that had done that to her was gone. He was going to do everything in his power to make sure he never did anything like that again, especially to David.





	honest man

**Author's Note:**

> So it's been a few days, sorry about that! I've been working on a Soulmate AU that literally no one asked for. I also just wasn't very happy with this one, but then I just decided to post it anyway because it was the best I could come up with honestly. I just feel like if I were in David or Patrick's position with the whole Rachel thing, I would want some sort of closure with her, so here's this. 
> 
> No beta!
> 
> This is based on Honest Man by Ben Platt. If you haven't listened to his album Sing to Me Instead, what's wrong with you? Go listen to it and cry for 45 minutes!

_ I know I’ve played with hearts before, don’t have the heart to play with yours. I only swear to do the best I can _

Well, yesterday was a fucking nightmare. 

He had eaten too much last night, his eyes were sore from crying, and he missed Patrick more than he thought he would. David wanted nothing more than to text Patrick and talk about something stupid, but every time he thought of his boyfriend (was he still David’s boyfriend?), all he could think of the beautiful woman who had shown up at the barbecue and made David’s life shatter. 

David finally let Alexis back into the room at midnight, tired of hearing her pound on the door and yelling about missing her phone. Once she entered the room, she had tried to talk to him, but he had put his earbuds in and burrowed into his cocoon of blankets. 

When he woke up this morning, his heart sank when he read the text from Patrick saying that he was good to run the store for the day if David needed time. David couldn’t respond. 

Alexis tried to talk to him again, which caused his mother to walk in, which in turn, caused his father to walk in. They all did their best to get him to talk, but in the end, David told him to leave and now he was alone.

He couldn’t stop thinking about how sad Patrick had looked when he followed David after he had stormed off. He had claimed that David made him feel right, and David kind of hated Patrick for saying something so romantic when he was supposed to be mad about the situation. 

And he was mad. How could he not be? After Jake had made an appearance, Patrick had wanted to talk about it, but he hadn’t given any details about his own romantic past. He had told him to lock that box up, so David did because he didn’t want to dive any further into his own past. 

So, yeah, maybe this was a little David’s fault, but apparently, Rachel had been reaching out to him for  _ months _ , and Patrick still didn’t think it was necessary to bring up. 

David let out a groan when he heard a knock on the door. He knew there was no way it could be Patrick, seeing as his boyfriend (fuck, that really hurt to think) was responsible and even though Patrick knew he was upset, he wouldn’t leave the store during business hours. He figured Stevie was dropping by to check on him, so he decided to drag himself out of bed. 

He shouldn’t have done that. 

Patrick’s ex fiancé is standing on the other side of the door, looking worried and unsure. David immediately stood up straighter, holding on tightly to the door. 

“My sister isn’t here,” He bites out and she sighed in response. 

“I know. I just saw her. She mentioned you were here and I wanted to talk to you,” David made a mental note to kill Alexis when she got back. 

He eyed her for a moment and then stepped aside to let her in. “Come in, I guess,” He mumbled and she smiles awkwardly as she steps into the motel room. 

“What did you want?” He asked. He’s immediately embarrassed that his tone doesn’t come across as harsh, just filled with sorrow. 

“I wanted to apologize,” Rachel placed her hands in the pockets of her cardigan. 

“For coming here?” David wrapped his arms across his chest and she shook her head. 

“No.” David raised an eyebrow at her. “I know I should apologize for showing up uninvited, but I can’t. I got what I came here for,”

His heart drops to his stomach. “Patrick?”

“No,” Rachel smiled softly. “I thought that’s why I was coming here, but after talking to Patrick, I’ve realized I just needed closure. I’ve been wracking my brain for months, trying to figure out what it was that made him leave because it’s easier than moving on with my life. I’ve been clinging to something that I’ve known since high school.” She shrugged. “Patrick’s always made me feel like a teenager, and I didn’t want to lose that,” David watched her carefully and she sighed. “And he’s always been my voice of reason, so maybe that’s why I showed up here so that he could tell me what I’ve known since before he broke up with me for the last time,”

David was quiet for a while. “So, what? Just like that, you’re over him? You don’t want him back?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be completely over him. He was my first love, and for years, my best friend,” She smiled sadly, tears welling up in her eyes. “It kills me that we’ll never be as close as we were before, but I know we’re completely different people,” She gestures towards David. “Clearly,” David cracked a smile. “But no, I don’t want him back. I want to move on with my life, see what’s out there for me,”

“So, you aren’t...upset or whatever?”

“Oh, I’m very upset,” She said with a humorless laugh. “Hearing the person I thought was the love of my life tell me that he was never remotely attracted to me was heartbreaking.” Rachel wiped at her eyes and David felt horrible for bringing it up. “Last night, after Patrick talked with you, we had a pretty big fight. And when Patrick and I fight, we get mean and purposefully try to hurt each other,” She smiled sadly. “I guess I should have seen it sooner, just how bad we were together,”

“I’m sorry,” David said because he couldn’t find any other words. He’s never pictured Patrick as the type to go for the jugular while arguing with someone, but he supposed the amount of resentment had surely built up over time until he exploded. 

“It’s not your fault,” Rachel sighed. “I think we both said things the other needed to hear.”

“Oh,” David breathed out, eyes wide. “Okay then,” He cleared his throat. “Thanks for stopping by and telling me that,”

“Just don’t...don’t let this come between you,” She pleaded. “Patrick’s crazy about you,”

“Did he ask you to come tell me this?” David crossed his arms over his chest, needing the pressure against his body to help ground him. 

Rachel’s eyes widened. “No, he didn’t,” She replied earnestly. “He actually begged me to keep my distance from you while I was still in town. I think he was afraid it would cause more damage,” David shifted uncomfortably. “And I hope that this doesn’t completely backfire, because he cares about you so much, David,”

“Then why didn’t he tell me about you?”

“Because he’s a fucking idiot,” David tried to contain his smile and she smiled in return. “But trust me, David, he’s falling hard.”

That makes David’s mouth fall open as he began to shake his head rapidly. “No, that’s not - it’s only been - that’s  _ impossible _ ,”

“I’ve known him for almost fifteen years,” She says softly. “I know him, and I know how he feels about you,” David turns his head to look away from her. “I also know how much you care about him,” He’s always hated how easy it was to read his expression. He was sure she had no problem telling how devastated he had been when she had showed up at the barbecue. “I remember how easy it is to fall in love with Patrick Brewer,” David’s head snapped to look at her so quickly that she was surprised he wasn’t wincing in pain. 

“I’m not in love with Patrick. It’s only been four months,” He’s lying. He’s known since that stupid open mic night that he was in love with Patrick. 

Rachel stares at him knowingly. “Patrick has that effect on people.” David continued to stare at her intently and she moved towards the door. “Just don’t let what could be a whirlwind romance fall apart because Patrick made a bad call. He feels terrible,”

“I know,” David gestured to the bouquet of flowers sitting on the small table across the room. 

“See? He cares about you,” Rachel reached for the doorknob. “Patrick was always a good boyfriend to me, and he wasn’t even straight,” She joked, but he can tell that she’s still hurt and he really can’t blame her. “So, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the most perfect boyfriend for you. Don’t let him slip away,”

Rachel opens the door and is about to step out of the room when he speaks, “Rachel,” She turns to face him, clearly shocked that he would say anything to her. “Thank you,” She blinked and he sighed.  “I’m sure it wasn’t easy to come here and tell me all of that, so thank you,” 

“Anything for Patrick,” Her eyes begin to water and he hates that he feels bad for her. “Take care of him, David,”

And with that, she was gone. The silence was deafening as David was once again left with his thoughts. He padded over to his bed and collapsed on top of it again, trying to ignore the words that were now echoing in his head. 

There was no way Patrick was falling in love with him. People don’t fall in love with David, especially people like Patrick. 

But he had fallen hard for Patrick. The reality of it was paralyzing and he wanted nothing more than to run, but he knew he couldn’t do that. It’s what he was used to and he knew that if this was a few years ago, he wouldn’t even hesitate at the mere thought of being in love with someone, but that was before Patrick. 

Guess he was stuck here because of stupid Patrick and his stupid lovable qualities. 

\---

**Your ex fiancée just left my room. She seems nice.**

_ Shit. I asked her to leave you alone.  _

**Why?**

_ I didn’t want it to make things worse _

_ Did you run into her at the motel? _

**She came to my room. She wanted to talk to me about you**

_ What did she say? _

**Nice try**

**I’m still mad at you**

**I should still be giving you the silent treatment**

_ I’m glad you’re not, even though I would completely understand if you did _

**How’s the store?**

_ Busy _

_ Lonely _

**Okay, you can’t say shit like that**

_ I’m sorry. I’ve made a promise to myself that I’d be a lot more honest with you from now on _

**I appreciate that, but I’m going to need a minute before you start with the honesty. I’m still recovering**

**And by the way, I won’t be coming in tomorrow if that’s okay**

_ I understand and yes it’s okay. _

_ Take as much time as you need. I’ve got everything covered here _

**Thank you**

_ Of course _

\---

Patrick stared at his phone screen, the last text he had sent David staring back at him. He knew that David was done texting him for today, and honestly, he should be grateful that David reached out to him at all. 

He’s beyond surprised that Rachel went to see David. She’s sweeter than most people he knows, always has been, but after speaking to her yesterday after the disastrous barbecue, he knew she was really upset.

After he had made David a plate of food, which Stevie had taken to him, he spoke to Rachel in his car on an abandoned road not far from the motel. There had been raised voices and tears and it had made Patrick feel like shit. She had been sobbing in the passenger seat and he couldn’t do anything about it. He scrambled to come up with something, but he took too long and she ended up leaving the car, telling him she was going to walk back to her motel room. He had driven back to Ray’s, wracked with guilt and self-loathing for hurting two of the most important people in his life.  

A part of him wants to reach out to Rachel and ask what she and David talked about, but he knew he needed to give her space too. Whether he liked it or not, he had hurt her just as much as he had hurt David, and though they weren’t together anymore, he needed to be respectful. He still cared for her. 

He was just about to move to the back to try and find something he could do when the bell above the door rang. Patrick glanced up, blinking in surprise when he locked eyes with Rachel. She smiled at him kindly as she shut the door behind him and the guilt began to gnaw at him again. 

“Hey,” Rachel said, taking a few steps forward. Patrick gripped the edges of the counter tightly, needing some way to release some of his nerves. He was just glad that the afternoon rush had just finished because no one should have to witness what was about to happen. “I figured it would be safe for me to pop in since I know David is at the motel,” 

“Um, yeah,” Patrick cleared his throat. “He just told me you stopped by to talk with him,”

“So, you’re talking?” Rachel asked and he shrugged. 

“The conversation didn’t last long, but it was more than I thought I would get.” Patrick placed his forearms on the counter and leaned forward. 

“I’m glad,” And he could tell that she truly meant it. Sometimes he really hated how sweet she was. 

“Why did you go see him?” He blurted out because he knew the curiosity would eat him alive. 

She smiled softly at him. “I needed him to know that he shouldn’t let this ruin your relationship,”

“Why?” Patrick asked. “You didn’t have to do that,”

“I know,” Rachel gave him a significant look and Patrick’s heart clenched. “But I couldn’t leave here knowing that I had messed things up for you,”

“You didn’t mess things up, Rachel. I did.”

“Yes, you should have told him about me, but it still doesn’t make it okay that I showed up here,” She echoed his words from last night and he winced. 

“Rachel-”

“You were right,” Rachel said. “About everything. About me coming here because I didn’t know what else to do. I love you, Patrick, and I know I always will, but we weren’t good together. I shouldn’t have pressured you to propose, I know that now, and I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay,”

“It’s not,” Rachel said softly. “I’m just glad that you called it off. You saved us a lot of heartache,”

“I’m still sorry that I treated you so terribly,” Rachel smiled and she reached out to take his hand in hers. 

“The sucky thing is that you didn’t treat me terribly. You were a great boyfriend. You know how jealous all of my friends were of our relationship,” Patrick flushed. “I kind of wish you had been awful because it would make this situation a lot easier,” She joked and he chuckled. 

“Just because I was a decent boyfriend to you doesn’t make up for the fact that I lied to you,”

“Honestly, I don’t even think you knew what you wanted. Maybe you had a few thoughts here and there, but never enough to truly question everything and break up with me for good. At least not until recently.” She was always so good at reading him, something that was incredibly unnerving at times. “I don’t resent you or anything if that’s what you’re worried about,”

“I wasted nearly fifteen years of your life,”

“I mean, a little bit, but now I know what to look for in life. Someone just like you, but you know, straight,” She teased and he sent her a small smile. “Look, Patrick, I’m not going to lie and say that I’m not a little angry and upset about how this turned out, but at the end of the day, you’re my best friend and I just want you to be happy,”

Patrick blinked back tears. “I’m so sorry, Rachel,”

“I know,” She squeezed his hand. “But after talking with Alexis, I realized how happy you are in this town and I’m glad that you decided to come here as an escape after everything we went through. You must be happy here,”

_ I was _ . “I am,” Patrick confirmed. “I finally feel like I can be myself here,”

“I’m glad,” Rachel smiled, but then it faltered slightly. “Your parents don’t know, do they?”

Patrick’s heart sank into his stomach. “How’d you guess?”

“If they knew, I’m sure they would have tried to stop me from coming here,” Rachel squeezed his hand again. “You know they won’t care, right?”

Patrick swallowed past the huge lump in his throat. “I’m not ready to tell them, Rach,” She moved closer and the scent of her vanilla perfume brought a wave of nostalgia and sadness over Patrick. “I’ve come to terms with who I am, but I just can’t do it right now. I’m terrified that it’ll change everything,”

“Your parents are the nicest people I’ve ever met, and they love you more than anything,” She assured him. “But if you aren’t ready to tell them, then you aren’t ready,” Hearing her say that was oddly reassuring.

“Thank you,”

She pulled her hand back and flicked at his hand. “Now are you going to tell me about you and David while you show me around your cute little store?”

Patrick stood up and placed his hands on the counter. “Are you sure? You really don’t have to put yourself through that,”

“As long as it’s a cute story,” She teased. “If not, it’s not worth the heartache,”

“Rachel-”

“Patrick, let me do this for you,”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m assuming you haven’t been able to tell anyone outside of this town about your relationship because you’re worried it might somehow get back to your parents,” 

“I told Katie,”

“That’s only one person,” She gave him a look. “You aren’t a very private person, Patrick. You love telling stories and this one you’ve obviously haven’t been able to tell that many times,” She had a point, but he couldn’t get rid of the guilt. Telling her all about David would be cruel. 

“Rachel, seriously,”

“Patrick, just tell me!” Rachel exclaimed. “I’m not some delicate little flower. I can handle it,”

He considered her for a moment before sighing. “You’re really too sweet for your own good, you know that right?” She simply shrugged and moved to look at the wines they had on display. He moved out from behind the counter and followed her around the store as he told her about his relationship with David. He tried to keep it as short and kind as possible, afraid he would upset her. 

Once he was done, she put down the moisturizer she had been looking at to give him a look. “What?”

“I had a feeling yesterday,” She said vaguely. “But now it’s clear as day,”

“What is?”

“How much you love him,” Patrick’s eyes widened and she simply rolled her eyes in response. 

“Rachel-”

“You’ve always been easy to read, Patrick.”

“I-” He’s not sure where he’s going with this, so he says the first thing that pops in his head, “I’m sorry,”

“Don’t apologize for being in love,” 

“I shouldn’t be talking about this with you, it’s just cruel-”

Rachel sighed. “It’s okay if you love him. I think I made my peace with the end of our relationship months ago, but I clearly just didn’t know how to let go,” He had been the one to tell her that. Rachel had always been the one in the relationship that was constantly worried about what the future would look like, terrified of any change that came her way. It really did make sense that she came after him. “And trust me when I say that he’s well on his way to loving you too,”

Patrick blanched. “How could you possibly know that?”

“He looked like shit when I saw him,” Patrick winced. “He obviously hadn’t slept much and he just looked...sad. If he wasn’t falling in love with you, or already there, he wouldn’t be taking this so hard,”

“He’s pretty emotional, that’s probably the explanation for him being so upset. And he’s been hurt so many times,”

“You and I both know you don’t believe that,” She gave him a look. “I can say with almost one hundred percent certainty that you guys will be back together within a week.”

God, he hoped she was right. 

Ten minutes later, she was leaving the store with a few products that Patrick didn’t have the heart to charge her for. 

“Next time you come into town, give me more notice,” Patrick teased and her eyes widened. 

“You want me to come back?”

“Just because we broke up doesn’t mean I stopped caring for you. You’re still one of my best friends and just because I have this new life doesn’t mean I’ll forget everything we’ve gone through together,” 

She had pulled him into a hug then and if she lingered a little longer than she should have, he didn’t say anything. 

“Goodbye, Patrick,” She pulled the door open. “Thanks for being my therapist after all these years,”

He smiled sadly. “Bye Rachel. I’m sorry I didn’t just tell you about everything,”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it,” 

“I’ll try not to,”

“Good luck with David,”

“Thank you for going to see him. I don’t think he would have texted me if you hadn’t.”

“Anything for you, Patrick,” She smiled wistfully and he felt his heart break a little. “See you later,”

“See ya,” And with another ring of the bell, she was gone. He watched her until she disappeared from view and then he let out a relieved sigh, leaning back against the table, careful not to bump the products. 

Patrick felt a lot better about his guilt, though he knew he would always feel bad for wasting years of both of their lives. He felt terrible for playing with Rachel’s heart, but he knew that that man that had done that to her was gone. He was going to do everything in his power to make sure he never did anything like that again, especially to David. However, now he felt a lot better about the whole situation. They had both gotten the closure they had needed to truly move on with their lives. 

He hoped she would find a man that loved her as much as Patrick loved David. She deserves it. 


End file.
